Valentine’s Day
It’s officially less than one (1) month until the international day of love and romance, the festival of appreciation and intimacy, the one day per year where everyone can privately gather with the one they love the most and share each other’s affection and caring. No, not Lincoln’s birthday, although I do believe much intercourse is had on that day as well. I’m talking about Valentine’s Day!
It’s also the first Valentine’s Day that I’ve been single on in about four years, but I’m not complaining. A lot of people espouse bitterness and hatred — whether it’s real or feigned — towards everyone who has someone special when Valentine’s Day comes around, but I’m not in that boat. Personally, I’m happy for every couple that’s been lucky enough to find someone to love; I enjoy nothing more than being one of those shmoopie people.
The hard part this year is finding a special someone to be my Valentine. That’s pretty much been taken care of by default in the recent past, so I never had to put much thought into it other than making sure that I spelled their names right on the idiotic cards I made for them BY HAND. And I think 75% accuracy is pretty darned good. Three out of five isn’t bad, especially with the state of our educational system.
This year… I have no one. My friends are taken. My ex-girlfriends have other men in their lives now. Most of my gay friends aren’t interested in straight men, and the ones that are just aren’t my type. Not even my Olivia Newton-John obsession and the mysterious magic of Xanadu have been able to attract a suitable Australian blonde girl to my side. I am, sadly, lacking a Valentine.
So, anyone wanna woo me?
EDIT: Once again, I think Batman understands my despair.
EDIT 2: I once knew a guy named Wumi.
Ah, Valentines Day. The scourge of single, unattached people everywhere.
I actually wrote “Shmoopie” when I had just gotten involved with someone. I had so much fun with that post! Thanks for the linkage.
Oh and I know what you mean about having everyone in your life all hooked up…
The Wife and I avoid sex on Valentine’s Day as the last time it resulted in the conception of Maverick. Kind of ruined it for us. So now we just exchange cards and perhaps a kiss. No flowers as I can’t bring myself to pay the usurious rates florists charge for this one day of the year.
Unfortunately, I don’t know any single people in NYC. I’d be willing to be your Valentine, but I’m not a fan of long term relationships. Not to mention being married and all.
So good luck on finding a Valentine.
Special thanks to Vince, for adding the word “usurious” to my vocabulary. Oddly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word until now.
Hey! I haven’t any valentine either! And I’m not really certain I’ll encounter any between now and February 14th!
’twill be my first solo Valentine’s Day in about 7 years.
Let’s be cyber-Valentines!
Usurious is new for me, too! WOW!
I think if I got a valentine RIGHT NOW I’d be so nervous on our date it wouldn’t be as much fun as sitting home alone with a bottle of wine, and a can of icing, watching romance movies! Or… that’s what I’m telling myself!
Glad I could expand everyone’s vocabulary a little.
Now go forth and utilize this powerful new word.
VINCE YOU ARE LOOKING ESPECIALLY USURIOUS TODAY
Man, I can’t believe that I’m the one whose ball and chaining it these days and your the single one, it was historically the other way around.
I know that it’s weird getting out there after a couple years, but don’t fret, it’s like getting back on a kick scooter, easier than a bike.
Your young, in a city that that’s hot (Sea-town hotter though, you would know if you come and visit me finally), and you got a great looking chin. So get out there this V-Day and get your cookie dipped. Give your brother a call sometime.
Hear that, ladies? I HAVE A GREAT-LOOKING CHIN.
Yeah, you heard right.
With a dimple? ;-)
No dimple. But a manly scar, though.
How’s the search coming?
I know a guy named Tumi. Does that count for anything? (I also know a Thabiso, a Bongani, a Somage, and a Tsidi. Yes, I know half of South Africa. Your point?)
I have a Valentine, as we all know, but I would totally give you one of those ubiquitous “Be My Friend” Valentines from my Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends Valentine card pack. (Because if I were going to do Valentines? It would totally be Foster’s.)
Especially because as near as I can tell, there are no “House, MD” Valentine cards. They would all come with a heart-shaped Vicodin attached to them, so I guess that’s why they can’t sell them over the counter.
I have a Valentine, too. But I do find it hard to believe that a chin like that could not attract attention in that big city of yours …
I do recall having a very interesting “Valentine by default” myself about four years ago.
my girl just arrived in the country so i guess i have to take a rain check.
i’ll see what i can do man, would love to help. any particular preference?
Got any blonde Australian women?
I so do not get this blonde preference!
Olivia Newton-John.
And you never thought of me? ouch. I mean, I know I’m not blonde but I’d hope history would be in my favor.
Unless conditions rapidly change, it’ll be my first in 5 years, I think.