My blogfather Andy, the man who inspired me to give life to this blog, has finally retired from his tireless blogging crusade at the World Wide Rant. I would like to take a moment of silence, which you are probably already doing unless you’re reading this aloud.
You will be missed, Andy.
You know why I want to see this movie?
Because the only IMDB keywords listed for it are “Car” and “Blood.”
Yes, this is a selling point for me.
YAY for over 1,000 posts here at Tales to Astonish! Somehow I managed to go from 998 to 1025, but I’m not one to quibble. Here’s hoping that we’re all still around to see the 2000th post!
Also: Don’t forget to join my HALLOWEEN CONTEST! Only twenty or so days remaining!
Be back later with Halloween 5.
Actually, I don’t know how annual it really is, since I wasn’t even blogging at this time last year. Anyway, I’ve got a good one this time — maybe even better than the last (and only) contest! Why is it so good this time around, you ask? It’s so good because I stole the idea in its entirety from an old horror blog I used to visit prior to it being interred in the Dead Blog Cemetery. Thanks, Dark But Shining!
Their contest went a little something like this: readers were presented with the opening few paragraphs of a decidedly non-horrific novel, and the brave writers in the crowd were challenged to use them as a starting point for the best damn horror story they could come up with. The three winning entries were published on the three days leading to Halloween, and the writers all went on to become famous novelists and a millionaires. Except the first-place winner, of course, who was cursed to spend the rest of his days writing about Coney Island and punk shows. Them’s the breaks!
The editors over in that fog-enshrouded part of the blogosphere offered up the opening to Kate Douglas Wiggin’s Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, but I felt like going with something a little closer to my own cold little heart: the first three paragraphs of Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep. I love horror, and I love pulp, and together I bet they make a beautiful sound — but that part’s up to you!
Here’s how it works: you’ve all got from now until October 25th to get your entries emailed to me at retropolitan at nineteenthirtynine dot net. Ideally, I’m looking for around 500-1000 words (not including Chandler’s UNEDITED excerpts at the start of your tale), but go wild if you feel you must, and try to keep it in the hard-boiled pulp style. Just don’t forget that you’re turning this into a horror story, gang, so make it as ghoulish and creepy as you can! Since I have fewer regular readers than DBS (probably even after they shut it down), I’ll only be picking one big winner from the entries, unless I have an unexpected surplus of submissions. Winner gets a MYSTERY PRIZE, and in case you’re worried, I will clearly label the nude photos of me so that you don’t accidentally open them in front of your children. Everybody got that? Good! Go be creative and have some fun, and let me know in the comments if you’re going to participate!
The first three paragraphs of Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep are after the break.
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God, I love the Internet Movie Database. It fills me with joy, because only there can I find forum posts like this one:
“Will it have it in the USA out on DVD!!!”
Or, for those that aren’t registered and don’t want to register, the entire thing is after the jump.